In the Dark
by Yami no Kokoro
Summary: Kuwabara: Of course, there are only 3 demon lords. I mean, that just fits, right? I didn’t get asked to fight for any of them. I’m not the hero. No matter what powers I reach, I’m still less. I’m only human.


**In the Dark**

**By Yami no Kokoro**

Everybody around here takes me for granted. I guess that's an easy enough thing to do. I mean, when I'm surrounded by the others, demons and gods all of 'em, with powers and wisdom that mere humans could never hope to have ourselves, I guess I shine a little less brightly. It's understandable. Kurama's all ancient and super-smart and a good fighter, and Hiei's got that 'I'm so tough, everyone be all in awe of me and my creepy forehead eye' thing going on.

Then there's Urameshi, who keeps on surprising everyone with what he's able to accomplish. Well…not me, but then, who ever listens to me anyway?

Ever since I met him I knew that he was something special. I could feel this…well, this _something_ coming off of him in huge psychic waves. That's why I was so obsessed with fighting him, and him in particular out of everyone in the whole entire city. I knew that if I could fight him, not even to win, but just fight him, then he'd be able to push me to new limits, and maybe…just maybe, I'd have the opportunity to do a little of the same. That became my mission in life, my reason for fighting.

Winning's never been the real reason I've fought him, even though that's what I told all my friends. They'd never be able to understand what I had to do- help get Urameshi to that level that he needed to be at, because I felt it pouring off him in waves-that someday he'd stop being a stupid punk and become something really important.

At first things were that way. We were the 2 best fighters in Saryaski Jr. High, and I'm pretty sure there were few who could beat either of us in the entire of Japan. We were the ultimate rivals, and even though he acted like fighting me was a piece of cake I knew that there were times when I got him to panic, got him to think, got him to fight harder.

Then he went and died. At first I'd felt like I'd failed. Like I hadn't fought with him enough, gotten him to the place he'd needed to be. OK, he was hit by a car so that doesn't really make sense, but the point is that I thought everything I'd been working for was over.

That's when absolutely everything in the world (or worlds, I guess) started to change. That's when my own little personal prophecy about him started to come true. He came back as Spirit Detective, and every day he seemed to impress more people with what he was able to do, the power he was able to reach, and the compassion this supposed common street punk had. I was alright with him getting all the attention, that's not what I was in it for anyway. I get that beside him I fit more into the sidekick role.

Kurama and Hiei I wasn't ready for. I mean, they're cool and all…or at least, fox-boy is, and they're strong and smart and good to have on our team but…well, before them I was Urameshi's backup, his rival, the one helping him become stronger. I was the one helping him when no one else would, and I was one of the two people in the whole human world fighting with the spirits to save it.

But…like they say, three's a crowd, and if that's true, where does that leave four? Hiei became Yusuke's main rival, Kurama's the guy he talks to and confides in, and what am I? The joke of the entire group.

'Ooh, look at Kuwabara, all he can make is a super-powerful energy sword, and he has better spirit awareness than anyone except Hiei, and Hiei's only better 'cause he cheated and got a stupid fake eye. But let's make fun of him anyway, just 'cause.'

I mean, I don't mind being on the butt of a joke once in a while. I know that I'm not the easiest person to take seriously, but it's not like I'm the court jester or anything. I'm one of the founding members of a team that saves the world on a regular basis, and the only person that does it of his own free will.

Like I said, I don't want fame, but everyone needs a little recognition now and then, at least from their friends, you know?

Apparently, you don't, or no one else does, at least. I'm never let into the loop on anything. People don't feel like telling me, and if it weren't for my spiritual awareness I'd probably be in the dark 99 percent of the time. As it is, I probably only know about 50-60 percent.

I know that Hiei's a nicer guy than he wants to let on, especially to me, and that he had a bad past that made him close up like he does around everyone. I know that Kurama's a lot scarier and meaner than he'd like to show, and that even though he wants to redeem himself for his bad past the darkness inside is still a big part of him. I know that Urameshi and Hiei are always fighting over some silent, invisible possession, and I'm pretty sure I even know what that 'thing' is.

There are secrets, though, that are harder to find out all on your own.

When Genkai died during the Tournament I was the only one not to know. Urameshi, Hiei, Kurama, Botan, Koenma, my big sister… not one of 'em felt that it was right to tell me. And they were all supposedly my friends.

It's not like I knew Genkai that well or anything, like Urameshi did, but she'd been on my team, she'd been the one to help me to learn my Spirit Sword, and she'd saved those guys on the Ichigaki team (not to mention me).

I deserved to know. I deserved to be told.

But no. Instead everyone just kept silent while I blathered on like an idiot about how unfair it was that she got to sit out the finals. I had to hear the news from my opponent in the middle of the ring, and that was one of the most horrible moments in my pretty horrible life-when I first really realized how little everyone I cared about thought of me.

Time passed. We won the Tournament. I remembered what my job was, and I got over it.

Then came the next big secret. Urameshi's a demon. OK, that one I really only found out, like, a minute after Hiei and the then-Yoko-Kurama did, but it still made me feel really left out. Especially 'cause it just placed a bigger gap between me and all the others. They belong to a different world. They're part of this whole creepy demon group that I can never get into just because of what's in my blood…or what's not, I guess.

I should get over that, but it's hard, because it's got a lot to do with this new problem. The last major secret that no one thought to tell me until tonight.

My teammates are all moving on already. Disappearing, not even together, but to become enemies in demon world…in _their_ world, and leaving me in the dust. Yeah, the demon kings are bored or something so they're starting a war, and Urameshi's playing for one team, Kurama's fighting on another, and Hiei for the third.

Of course, there are only 3 demon lords, I mean, that just fits, right? Not only are they all ditching me, ditching _each other_, but I've gotta just keep going to school and acting like nothing's wrong while my three teammates lop each other to pieces on some battlefield somewhere fighting for a world none of them has even lived in for at least a couple years, for Urameshi ever. I didn't get asked to fight for any of them. I'm not the hero. After all, why would any demon king want the most powerful human in the world on their side? No matter what powers I reach, I'm still less. I'm only human.

I asked Kurama, after Urameshi left, if I'd get a chance to help _any_ of them with this. He just glanced at Hiei, then away real quick, forced a smile, and said that this was a demon war. Humans didn't really have a place in it.

Figures. I'm forgotten as usual, huh?

I guess I should be happy that Botan invited me along to see Urameshi leave, at least, or I'd probably just think he was cutting classes again for the next few weeks. We've known each other for over 3 years, saved each other's lives time after time, and he'd just disappear without a word. They all would.

I guess that fits with the scheme I always saw.

What I saw was me helping Urameshi reach greatness, and now he has. He's heir to a third of a world, and if he wins his war maybe even all of it. From when I first met him I knew right away, I could tell…there was just something about him, something hidden beneath the surface. I swore to myself that I'd do whatever I could to help get that something out, and now I've done all that I can do for him, for all of them, 'cause I hope in some way I've helped out Kurama and the runt too.

I never entered into this to be the hero, the one that saves the day. I knew from the start that I'm sidekick material, that I'd be forgotten when this goes down in Spirit World history or whatever.

I knew, but the time to be forgotten came a lot quicker than I thought it would. Now I just have to learn to deal with the fact that I'm a mortal, walking among gods.

Compared to the light that they're destined to walk in, I'll always be standing off to the side, in the dark.

End


End file.
